Lessons that were!

Indulged in our own comfort zones, and living with our routine rush, most of us often tend to forget the ultimate truth of life, the dreary death. I was not an exception to this.  In fact, I was living my life as if I were never to die. But one fine morning of April 25, 2015, I heard my own death whispering from the closest distance. The terrifying earthquake opened-up my eyes and I got wiser with the fear I encountered this day.

It was Saturday and the clock was to strike 12 in the morning. My wife's friend Sabitri had come at ours. Kids were playing downstairs. As usual, I was busy at some works in my laptop. Suddenly, everything around us started trembling and swaying. A strange roaring came from the womb of earth and nothing seemed stable on its surface. The birds flew high and dogs in the neighborhood made unusual barking. Buildings began to crumble and many installations collapsed blowing the  dust all around. The entire atmosphere got gripped with people's frenzy. In just about a minute, the powerful became powerless, the rich became poor and the hopeful turned hopeless.

To me, this frightening experience of earthquake was not only the natural fear but also an awakening call. I got to know many lessons that I had hardly thought of: The power of the divine, helplessness of so called superior humans, and value of life. In fact, everything.

When the earthquake shuddered the ground, it crumbled every conviction of mine. All those popular songs I used to hum to my wife until yesterday bore no meaning whatsover. The promises I had made with her were no longer intact. Because I thought of none other than myself while I had to run out of the room at that point of time. Nothing came to my mind than my own safety. Until yesterday I would often sing a song to my wife; Timi binako jeeban sochna samma ni ma sakdina/ phool bina ko basana sochna samma ni ma sakdina/ baru jawos mero jiwan maya marna ma sakdina (living without you is beyond my thoughts/ fragrance without a flower is beyond my thoughts/ may my life be taken instead, I cannot even think of forgetting you!). But I failed to live up to this song as I so easily forgot her the moment the life-threatening quake challenged me. I could not even utter a word to my better-half to run out of the home. I ran all alone leaving her unattended. Contrary to this, my wife who hardly sang any love song for me or made promises by way of words like mine, followed me without forgetting her promise of 'Ukali Urali haruma bhanjyang ani chautariharuma,.... jaha jaha janchhau timi ma paila bani pachhyairahanchhu (whether you get along passes, or to rural resting-places; wherever you go, I will continue to tread along your footsteps!). I felt ashamed of having acted so selfishly and so foolishly. I knew of my stupid self that day for the first time.

The other lesson I got to learn following this chaotic rehearsal was even more interesting. My next- door neighbor who never bothered to talk to us in the past 10 years, did perform wholesome. It was so perhaps because we were tenants and did not own a house in town, therefore not of his class! But this Saturday earthquake removed his illusions and crumbled his ego too. To my surprise, he seemed to have realization of being 'nobody' before nature's power. He shared with us the stories of his loss inside and outside the house for the first time in 10 years. He came very close to us and appeared very humane. His otherwise swollen ego seemed to have been crushed and his confidence shaken. For me it was a great lesson learnt free of cost that any powerful man can become powerless when nature so causes.

Up to late evening, the horrible news reports from different places further consolidated our fears. The recurrent aftershocks continued to shake our confidence that was already at the lowest. The metro residents of Kathmandu lived with great difficulty during this tragedy but in the face of horror, of loss, of death, of despair, they did not lose the human spirit and hope. Despite all this adversity, they found ways to smile, to laugh, to love, and to cry together. The memory of this day marks a unique page in my life's diary.